Guide to Disneyland Rides

(Very) Unofficial Guide to Disneyland Rides

This is a rough guide only, designed to save you wasting time, and should be used with the map you’ll be given. Sometimes rides break down (in 2007 there seemed to be a gremlin at work!), sometimes the queues are too long. Get a fastpass on the more popular ones (marked “F”). Ratings are out of 5 stars. “Tame” means there’s nothing to scare you, not that they’re bad. Similarly, if a ride gets one star it doesn’t mean it’s rubbish – it’s probably better than the rides back home. If you don’t like roller coasters (or you have a problem with your neck or back) best keep off Indiana Jones, Thunder Mountain and (especially) Space Mountain. Read the notices before you go on any ride. There’s something for everyone - even a small zoo (“Critter Corral” (**)) if you can find it!

MAIN STREET

This is where we come in. The Meeting Place at the end of the day before we go on to Disney Village is at the top of Main Street, just inside the main turnstiles, at the benches. Regular Meeting Point during the day if you have any problems is at the bottom of Main Street, on the benches a little bit down from Casey’s Corner hotdog cafe (the one with the statue of the baseball player). Staff members will be there hourly on the hour, except for one o’clock. Keep in threes or more at all times – if you lose anyone report it at the Regular Meeting Point. If you want to go on the Railroad (**) you get on here.

Make sure you’re on your best behaviour in Disneyland – there are people watching you all the time!

There is no need to buy water – it is safe to drink from the drinking fountains (but bring a bottle to fill).

Keep your ticket safe – you’ll need it for fastpasses.

It’s usually hot, but it bucketed down one year – if it does it again and you don’t have a coat buy a yellow poncho that you’ll see on sale.

Don’t buy food from stalls – it’s expensive. Take some time to have a proper meal.

And please don’t buy toy guns or knives, or we may have problems at customs. And don’t spend all your money – we’ve still got the chocolate shops and Hypermarket to go to! You can buy presents from the Disney Village in the evening.

DISCOVERYLAND

Space Mountain (***** F). A lot of rides in Discoveryland are based on works by the French science fiction writer Jules Verne, and this simulates his Voyage to the Moon. Bone-rattling roller-coaster including a loop, a horseshoe and barrel roll. Much of it is in darkness, but keep your eyes open for the full thrill. The present Mission 2 is slightly tamer than the old Mission 1, but more interesting.

Le Visionarium (*). Surround film based on Jules Verne and his British equivalent H. G. Wells.

Les Mystères du Nautilus (**). From the Verne book 20,000 Leagues under the Sea. You walk through an unusual submarine which is attacked by a giant squid.

Orbitron (*). Tame fairground ride aimed at younger children.

Star Tours (**** F). Though it’s showing its age a bit, this ride on an out-of-control spaceship (run by CP3O from Star Wars) is still well worth going on. Not recommended if you’ve just eaten!

Autopia (*). Tame ride, “driving” cars which are on rails.

Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast (***). Tame combination of a computer game and a ride. You get a gun and shoot at things you pass, with the score recorded in your car.

Honey, I Shrunk the Audience (**** F). Another attraction showing its age, but well worth seeing. A 3-D film in a tricked-out cinema. Don’t go if you’re seriously afraid of snakes, big cats, or mice. You may get a bit wet. When you get into the hall go down to the bottom towards the left, and when the doors eventually open after the tiresome introduction choose a central seat a few rows back, away from any little kiddies if possible.

FANTASYLAND – If you don’t like scary things! All rides tame.

Sleeping Beauty’s Castle. That’s the big castle that dominates the Park. Mostly full of shops, but check out the dragon in the dungeon.

Peter Pan’s Flight (**). Ride above the rooftops of London to Never-Never Land. Some people have liked it.

Le Pays des Contes de Fées/ Storybook Ride (**). Ride through fairytale scenes.

Le Carrousel de Lancelot (***). Impressive re-creation of traditional fairground merry-go-round.

Blanche-Neige et les Sept Nains/ Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (**). Ride based on the Disney film. Some have liked it.

Dumbo (*). Fairground ride on the flying elephant.

Mad Hatter’s Tea Party (***). This is the one with the giant whirling cups and saucers. To make it less tame, spin the cup as fast as you can, then everybody lean forward towards the centre!

Alice’s Curious Labyrinth (***). Good if you like mazes. This one takes about an hour to get out of. There are doors which you can only get through if you’re small. You may get wet.

It’s a Small World (*). Hard to believe that this is the most popular ride in the Park. Seemingly never-ending boat trip through scenes of animated dolls representing crude national stereotypes, all singing an irritating song. Some have loved it, but it helps if you were happiest when you were seven.

Les Voyages de Pinocchio (**). Ride based on the puppet who becomes a boy.

ADVENTURELAND

Le Passage Enchanté d’Aladdin (*). A walk through a passage featuring scenes from the film. Like queuing for a ride that never materializes.

Pirates of the Caribbean (*****). . Superb boat ride through convincingly animated scenes of piracy – very atmospheric. Try to be at the front. Fairly tame, but note that there are two drops down waterfalls: the first is quite sharp, the second less so (though you will probably get wet on the second, which is where they take your picture).

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (or Peril) (**** F). Minimalist bone-rattling roller coaster in railway trucks around (but not inside) the temple, with one tight loop (it was Disney's first looping coaster). As it is short (two and a half minutes), poor in decor and frequently breaks down, you may wish you'd gone on Thunder Mountain instead.

La Cabane des Robinsons (*). A tree house rather than a ride, this comes from the book Swiss Family Robinson. A bit tatty now, but okay if you want a break from rides and fancy a stroll. There’s a likeable rope bridge (often shaken by naughty boys, but it’s safe) as well as some caves in nearby Adventure Island (*).

Adventureland Bazaar. This is just shops done out like an Arab market, but take a look in the alley just to the right of the archway (with Adventureland behind you).

FRONTIERLAND

Big Thunder Mountain (***** F). You’re on a runaway train down a mountain in the Wild West in this old-fashioned, non-looping roller coaster. Space Mountain fans may find it a bit tame, but it’s fast, with some drops, and clever and interesting touches. They’ve reduced the water splash where they take the picture, but it’s still great entertainment. Rear car is the best – ask if they’ll let you get in it when they’re loading.

Phantom Manor (****). This is the spooky house on the hill facing Big Thunder Mountain. The ride is in two parts. For the first you find yourself in a tricked-out room – stand at the back towards the left to be one of the first to get to the second part, which is a tame (and slow) but clever and interesting ghost train. No real scares, but well worth doing.

Thunder Mesa Riverboat (*). The paddle steamer on the lake between Phantom Manor and Big Thunder Mountain. Okay if you like slow rides on big boats, but our ferry and Seine trip are both much more interesting.

DISNEY VILLAGE

When you’ve enjoyed the above rides come to the first Meeting Place at the top of Main Street (don’t leave the Park!) by 6.00 p.m. You must not be late. Don’t go on any rides which last beyond this time. Once we’re all there we’ll take the group photo then walk together to the Disney Village, where you’ll eat at Planet Hollywood. After that you’ll have some free time to walk around the Village and be able to buy presents for home.

At 9.30 we all meet outside Planet Hollywood, then leave Disneyland and walk to the coach, which will take us back to the hotel.